Entry 1: 01JAN20
Updated: Jan 3, 2020
2019 just came to an end, which means, end to a year and also an end to a full decade. Trying to look back within these past 10 years is kind of hard; I consumed a shit load of marijuana so I don’t really remember a lot nor do I remember things vividly. Anyways. What I am aiming for as of right now is not just to reminisce about this decade but what I have learned to get me where I am at today.
At the start of this decade I was a young, reckless, stupid, 20 year old who thought he was grown and that nobody can’t tell him shit. I was living with a girlfriend at the time in Sacramento (BAD DECISION but learned a whole fuckin lot). Within my time there I learned that I can be independent, I can live paycheck to paycheck without living at home with my parents and still have a place of my own working for $9.45 an hour. (Crazy Idk how I did that shit)
As the decade went on, I ended up back and mom and dads house and I feel at that moment, my REAL adult life was really beginning. I began realizing that I wasn’t as grown as I thought I really was. I started feeling the affects of the stupid decisions i made in the previous years just because I was quick to jump to an opportunity without thinking it through. And that’s one lesson I learned within this decade. I needa really think things thoroughly and know when to jump at an opportunity without thinking. Even till this day, I am still putting back the pieces of fuckups. But one thing I never did was stay stagnate and weep on “shoulda, coulda, woulda” I just kept it movin and groovin.
One of the biggest moves that I made in this decade, isn’t making a huuge materialistic purchase. Although I do wish I had this and that, but that’s besides the fact. I actually took it upon myself to really tell myself that I can do this art shit. I took that leap and went for it. I started to put my name out there as an artist. I did art shows, I sold stuff, I custom made stuff. From, album covers, to clothing designs, to portraits. I tried and did it all. I pushed myself to the limit of what I can and cannot do as far as art. I was able to actually be about what I always talked about. No more bullshit. Everything I’ve talked about as a teenager, I fuckin did it. I wanted to start a brand, well i fuckin did it and still rockin. I wanted to become a graphic designer, i FUCKIN did that shit and still rockin. I wanted to be an artist, well I fuckin did it and yes, STILL ROCKIN!
As I was able to check things off on my list of “dreams/goals” I noticed my list was actually getting bigger and bigger. And with all these check offs, these special moments in my life, I realized who really got me in my life. Who REALLY got my back and believes in me. Not a lot of ppl do, but my solids, they know wassup.
In this upcoming year and further to another 10 years from now, I want to focus more and more on art. I need to really master every aspect of creativity that I dabble in. I want to not only try out new mediums but really go back to my foundation and master every part to become flawless. The only way to get to that level is working nonstop. Even if it’s for an hour, or even 30 min to make sure I get my hands busy with creativity every single day.
Within these past few years i learned first hand that shit really doesn’t come overnight. Shit may not even come at all for the first couple years and more. But, that’s the first real test on
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